Wishlist : Terminator 5

Before I begin my continuation on the Terminator topic, heres a small synopsis of McG’s vision for the sequel:

In statements to FilmJournal, McG further reveals his plans to have the movie set in 2011, pre-Judgment Day. Skynet has figured out how to send non-Infliltrator Terminators such as Hunter-Killers and Harvesters through Time Displacement EquipmentJohn Connor is also sent back through time to fight the machines using present day military tactics and technology. While in the past, he meets up with the scientist played by Robert Patrick. [2] Rumors have been circulating that the next film will take place in modern day London, despite the fact that Terminator 3 shows Judgment Day happening in 2004. [3]

McG also hinted that John could very well end up meeting his mother Sarah upon going back in time. [4]

Love it or hate it this vision is not going to do any good if kept the way it is. There are a few rules which you should never cross. Rules define existence and if you break rule then you loose definition. Unlike the media branding which always projects breaking rules as something heroic-it is not so if not done decisively.And that is exactly what I must suggest to McG when he is hell bent on breaking rules even before he fully understands the rules that define the Franchise.

Exclusive: Terminator 5 promotional poster....

Exclusive: Terminator 5 promotional poster....

Anyway the focus of this post is not McG bashing but to see how Terminator 5 can be a less Epic fail than it already is.So lets roll……….

1. Stop making it a music video

The first thing that should be done with is the all music video like editing. Its totally bullshit and it shows. Editing a music video and editing a movie are not the same thing.In a music video the focus is on the music and the video needs to match the beat whereas in a movie the focus is on the video and story and the music or the background score needs to attenuate accordingly. We are not looking at a music video where gyrating buttocks in skimpy or no clothes on makes you sell the cake. There are some age old terms like character development, story arc and poetic justice involved. Also a little bit of emotion will surely help. It is said from the beginning that the movie is going to have a glum look-agreed thats the major sentiment going around in a post apocalyptic future but it is equally silly when you try to remove the human factor from it.Soldiers in the line of fire do have fractional chances of surviving the ordeal but are known to crack jokes on their impending doom. Human beings can’t stop smiling or crying even when there is a big question mark on their future.So every sequence or shift of story must be properly stringed together with logic and character development. If you break this rule it becomes a trailer or a music video like the one below.

2. Character development

Putting a modified NIN on the trailer as the background score or putting the entire cache of silver that US produced ever into film rolls is not going to add up unless we see developing characters.The main character John Connor is mechanical and we only can remember him for crashing helicopters , not for becoming the last hope of mankind.

Holy fruitbat ! Was it John Connor?

Holy fruitbat ! Was it John Connor?

Similarly Kate is shown to be pregnant but I don’t remember anything of significance that the pregnancy bore to the story. Sure post apocalyptic boning sounds like orgasmic fun and implying that the messiah John also has to give in to urges like every other human being is symbolic but unnecessary.Try this, in the next installment we do not see this unborn child (may be because Macculay Culkin was  Home Alone) and then we start thinking what happened to the bulge in Kate’s Tummy ? did she get an abortion  ?  did he get killed in a helicopter crash while learning to crash from his dad John Connor ? Did the dumb mute kid called Star ate him alive ? See…. it raises hundred questions and we do not have answers for any. Also a justification like John’s Son is the real savior of mankind also doesn’t hold a god candidature for a character development. In the same tune, Kate was shown to have graduated herself to a full time medic capable of performing a first world specialized surgery under third world conditions though her specialization is as a Cattle Surgeon. Now it is not acceptable that she graduated to the expertise of heart transplant in the harshest conditions from her usual routine of giving breast implants to the pre-apocalytic bovine community,just by interviewing some surviving doctors. We need to know how against the odds she chose to become the field medic and became very good while at it. So the bottomline is the characters need a story.We need to know why they are there and how they became what they are.

Terminator series is all about eating babies,so lets hunt some !!! I am the star u know !!!

Terminator series is all about eating babies,so lets hunt some !!! I am the 'star' u know !!!

3. Remove unnecessary characters

Can someone tell me why we had that sidekick called star ? What was common doing around other than mourning his dead brother ? Why was Kate pregnant out of the blue – was it necessary to see her pregnant and yet not know whsat significance it bore to the story ? What was the white haired old lady doing there ? Was she paid only to distribute milk to baby eating side kicks and sing lullaby when it is dreaming of titties in captivity? Was Moon necessary at all-now that the movie is PG-13 with Moons censored mooning,was it worth it to hire her ?  The entire movie is littered with characters that just take up screenspace.We never know what they had to do with the entire story. If we look back there is hardly any character in the old tenminator movies whom I can call as unnecessary.Even the security guard at Sarah’s madhouse had a presence and importance. Give us characters that prove their worth in the story.Give us perspectives of the other characters. Let us know why they are there and how they relate themselves to the cause of the main characters. Oh! that brings us back to point 2 !!!!

Bongo says I am not needed,and so are you-Lets see your goods now !

Bongo says I am not needed,and so are you Blair-Lets see your 'goods' now !

4. Please give correct technological references

I do not know why a moto terminator has a USB port. U F*cking -ess-beee port !!!! Aren’t they supposed to have a whole new kind of interface if at all it is needed ? At least USB 3.0 ? Fully functional and self reliant automatons with usb ports just do not add up !  Leave that-take Marcus. It is said multiple times that he has a human cortex as well as a machine one. Why the big F does he need a three dimensional screen with a dominatrix looking Boneham blurping out evil plans to him.

Featured: Helena Boneham Carter without makeup....

Featured: Helena Boneham Carter without makeup....

Also why does he need to even touch the console (why there was a console is a different thought) to interact with skynet. Wifi,bluetooth, RFID …. ring any bells ??? McG wants the dumb viewers to accept that a super intelligence like skynet doesn’t even know of wire free synchronization and WPA/WEP encryption ? Heck even my present generation N97 can do it -also my past generations of nokias,htcs and palms. Thats a serious technical flaw. Also the flashy super thin laptops at command-who maintains them-how are those manufactured ? Did skynet exclude the major laptop makers so that the parts supply is maintained ? Look McG,you need to understand a simple fact here – its easy to invent and build laser weapons in a post apocalyptic world than to maintain a delicate VAIO. Did Cameron in his brief view of the post apocalyptic world show anything like a fancy communication equipment and VAIO computers ? He showed guns,explosives,men in uniform huddling in rat holes…..notice the difference? Give us something that we can believe this time-will ya ?

Dont act stupid skynet-you really never heard of wireless sync ? here take my n97

Don't act stupid skynet-you really never heard of wireless sync ? Here, take my n97!

5. Time travel has its consequences

Parrallel realities is an established fact.Granted you wanted to keep the timeline intact but at the sametime you repeatedly violated it.How you ask ? read on. Lets first understand what exactly is a parallel reality.Lets say you go to a car shop to buy a beamer and you see a Jag.You buy a Jag and cruise it along the road mowing down some homeless when you see an extremely pretty lady waiting for a bus who looks at your Jag and spends no time in hopping in to caress your raging boner.2 months and multiple viagra+red bull shots+ drunk marriage later she files for a divorce and takes everything including your Jag in a settlement.Sad,dejected and penniless you somehow prostitute yourself in the homos3xual market and spend that ass earned money on a time machine.You go back in time at the point of purchase of the car and warn your about-to-be horny self about the possible consequences of buying the Jag. Your older self plays it safe and buys a beamer as planned before which doesn’t attract the pretty lady and you move on with your life. So at that new point of purchase there are two realities-one where you buy a Jag,Shag and then prostitute yourself and the other where you buy a beamer and live happily ever after. Cameron handled this pretty well.The moment that crushed terminator chip was found a parallel reality began and Sarah and sons were pulled into it.There was no postponement of judgement day or continuation of the same timeline-if he had continued on the same timeline then there would have been no story. Terminator III continued on that timeline and from that perspective their claims of postponement of judgement day was valid.

Drunk Marriage: According to Google...

Drunk Marriage: According to Google...

Terminator IV did the unthinkable – they explored that concept of postponement of judgement day (read parallel reality) and then we see John Frantically trying to save Kyle (read preservation of timeline)!!! he doesn’t need to.In his reality Kyle is already sent.If Kyle gets killed now or not traced it will give rise to an alternate reality of which this John is not part of. So in the same story you are following parallel reality theory as well as preservation of timeline theory. Physics says you cannot do that ! Learn physics and follow it!!!! Either grandfather paradox exists or it doesn’t – Physics is very binary with that. We need solid time travel concepts integrated into the story.Also this doesn’t mean John Connor travelling back in time to present day London with the moto terminators and all chasing him through the portal and Connor raising an army to fight them with beyonetts.That if happens will be a classic ass-hattery in the Terminator universe.

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  1. irwing
    September 12, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    u need to stop obsessing, but yeah T4 was $hit,this series should have ended with T2,also in ur story if u go back in time and warn urself to buy a beemer, then u don’t meet the girl so u don’t go back in time so u buy the jag and meet the girl but then u go….my head hurts

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